After a refreshing weekend in Dallas with my friends I came home Sunday feeling heavier, but motivated. So motivated that after being in a car for nearly four hours I took off to the track where I ran outside with a friend. I haven’t successfully ran on a track since the old days when I was healthy, in shape, but terribly lazy.
It took me all these years to realize how negativity really influences the outcome of most of my activities. I spent all this time telling myself that something was too hard, or that I just flat-out couldn’t do it. I have told countless people how running wasn’t my thing, and in my head I guess I thought that I would die if I tried to exert myself or something. Well, I am still living, and better than ever!
I went and worked out Monday but I went in feeling so negative. I worked out hard, but the entire time I was just complaining in my head, telling myself that I wasn’t going to reach my goals, even imagining that I would have gained weight when I go in on the 15th. Just beating myself up while I was running on the treadmill and lifting. I continued berating myself in the shower, and on my way to my house. I’m not sure why, either. By the time I got to my house I was near tears, and writing a note to Randy telling him all of my accomplishments, but making them sound like complaints. At the end of the note, I put. I am at the end of my rope.
I read the note again, and thought to myself, why am I so upset? Why do I spend so much time agonizing over a failure that I have not even experienced yet?
- I have more than doubled all the weight that I lift. Some things I have increased by 50lbs.
- I can run over two miles without stopping now. In the beginning I was running 30 second intervals and dying after
- Soreness is a distant memory. My body recovers quickly to the point that I am not suffering despite my intense workouts
- I FEEL STRONG
I made some changes to my note. Instead of worrying about where I think I need to be, I should start celebrating how far I have come. Oh, and you see where that note says 15 minute miles? Yeah. I beat that shit today. First mile, 11 minutes. Second, 10.. When I realized that I could actually run faster than I was running, it completely changed the way I see this. I am actually looking forward to running tomorrow. Plus, I’m using the Nike Run app. It’s really cool.