I can’t stop from living my life, and my life will continue to throw obstacles in my way. I just need to figure out how to control how I react to them.
My obstacles? Alcohol.
Alcohol was once a great friend, and confidant. Alcohol has been present in my life regularly since college, and while I regret few things, I have had more than my share of overindulgences. When I was younger, I literally sought blackouts, I worked toward them, and was incredibly successful in being a drunk.
I had this mentality with drinking until after my son was born. So I basically drank to get completely wasted until I was 30. WOW. You would think after gaining 80lbs and becoming diabetic I would have realized where my problem was.
It finally occurred to me when I started working out, and not having time to actually drink. I didn’t have time to be hung over anymore, so I stopped really drinking. When we would travel to see our friends, I would get the opportunity to drink, and I would come back 2-5lbs heavier. It’s insane. I seriously gain weight from drinking alone.
It’s gotten to the point where I get nervous about my exciting weekends with my friends because I know that in two days, I’m going to cancel out everything that I do during the week, and I work HARD.
Is it worth it?
The time I spend with my friends is well worth it. I live for those weekends. I just hate the guilt that I feel Sunday when I come home and weigh myself. I hate that it takes about a week for me to get BACK to where I was before.
So what am I going to do? I’m going to be the least drunk person there from now on. I’m also going to make sure I get up and run, because I won’t be hung over. I can’t be counterproductive because I want to party.
I can still have fun without a huge bar tab and a hang over. I may have even more fun than I know.
Growing up is hard. Moderation is something I never planned on becoming familiar with, but I suppose if it helps me reach my goals, I can employ it in some aspects of my life.
See you girls in Austin this weekend. I’ll be the one that will carry us home. I could use the exercise anyways.