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No Friends in High School May 9, 2013

No Friends in High School

When I was younger and larger, I remember going into Hollister once to look for jeans. I asked if they carried size 14. The girl article-1265986-09224A45000005DC-888_233x404working there looked at me like I was crazy and said no. I left the  store nearly in tears.

I was too fat for Hollister. I was too fat for a lot of things, but whose fault was that? Pretty much my own. I was upset that they didn’t cater to my size, but I also was aware that if I were healthy  I wouldn’t be facing the problem.

I can fit their stuff now, but I choose not to shop there. Mainly because I’m not in college anymore, and I think at my age you must have a child with you when you shop.

So today Abercrombie has been all over my Facebook feed because of how he feels about the fat, unpopular, poor, and unattractive.

I took one look at this guy and laughed. Seriously, bro, you’re a JOKE. I mean, call me out if I’m wrong, but his profound quotes obviously belong to someone who is still harboring the shame of not belonging. Get over it. You couldn’t sit with us at the lunch table then, and you still can’t now. One would assume that as an adult he would strive to NOT make teenagers feel like they are misfits, you know with all the bullying and teen suicides, but what do I know? I’m just someone’s mother.

I get the whole exclusivity theory. Sort of. I like owning things that others don’t. Which is why a lot of my favorite items are purchased at antique shops and thrift stores. I don’t buy original stuff cause people can’t fit or afford to buy them, I buy original items because I AM ORIGINAL.

Here’s a piece of advice to someone, obviously friendless who is targeting teenagers and college students:

Market originality, not exclusivity. 

Nothing you have in your store is special, because it smells of the morning after shame of a fraternity party, and you can still hear Abercrombie’s ridiculous music coming off of your $60 henley shirts thirty minutes after leaving. And another thing, there’s nothing original or exciting about being a jerk. Nobody likes them.

This whole thing about burning your clothes instead of donating because you’re too high-class for the poor shows exactly how much class you and your brand have. Hats off, really. That is by far the classiest thing I have ever heard. I promise you, people without clothes aren’t jumping up and down because of the brand they are getting. They are usually just happy cause they have something suitable to wear for school, work, etc.mike-jeffries-scumbag

I will say that in the late 90’s and early 2000’s I was one of those ‘cool kids’ that decorated my walls with Abercrombie shopping bags. My parents refused to spend a ton of money there, so I always left with this oversized bag of two sweaty people making out, with one clearance item inside. Whatever, I was a teenager. I still have a pair of size 12 Abercrombie jeans from back then with a button fly. I kept them for sentimental reasons.

Now that I think of it, I may burn them. They’re too big now anyways.

By the way, Mike Jeffries, I haven’t gotten to say it yet, but you’re a dick. Way to design a brand  around someone who obviously doesn’t deserve to socialize among anyone, no matter how ‘cool and attractive’ they are.  So please get over whatever happened to you when you were younger, and stop thinking that your little clothing store is impervious to the economy. Real adults will take their kids shopping elsewhere, and the rest of us have outgrown (mentally, not physically)  your overpriced, cologne-laced tiny shorts anyways.


3 Responses to “No Friends in High School”

  1. What a fuck tard. I wonder how do the people feel who are buying clothes from there..

  2. iamnoe Says:

    Reblogged this on Above the Arctic Circle: Life as I know it and commented:
    What a wonderful post. Really a nice addition to the various arguments I have heard against the brand and shallow people! 🙂 Enjoy!

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