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Control YOUR KID March 22, 2013


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Parents, have you ever heard those words, or thought them?

I have thought them a million times, but have only actually said it aloud once, to a girl I used to know whose kid was a demon. I’m not going to spend a paragraph or two explaining why, because I could with a story or seven that will prove such. I’ll just say that I’ve seen a tantrum that I had to tell all of my parent friends about because I became speechless by the insanity that I saw.  I saw it over a year ago, and I still remember it like it was ten minutes ago. But then again I can’t really say much because I threw tantrums forever.

I spent a lot of time babysitting when I was growing up, so before I actually became a mother I could somewhat understand children’s moods.  Before the baby came along though, Randy and I made a solemn promise that if Blake started to act a fool in public, we would scoop him up and get the hell out. We have both silently judged screaming babies in public enough to know that it’s not a good experience for the baby, parent, and onlookers.

If anyone has had the pleasure of meeting our bundle of joy, you would know that his temperament is that of his fathers. He smiles and hugs often, and is only fussy when it’s time for him to take a nap. He wakes up and is our smiling baby again, and we continue our lives of parents that get sleep and don’t have to deal with a baby that cries for hours. (knock on wood)

This morning I was in Target with Blake, enjoying a morning of buying things that I don’t need and letting people tell me how attractive he is. It’s funny because when I go now, I have to look nice because people always look at him. Everyone looks at babies, especially when they smile back, and I don’t want to shame my son by wearing a Chelsea Houska outfit and having my fro askew.

We are in the shoe clearance aisle, trying to find a new pair of shoes to sneak in the house and Blake was very talkative. I always encourage his babbling, so I’m playing along. He gets excited and shrieks really loud.

That’s when I heard those three words. On the other side, a teenage girl says “Oh my god, control your f-ing kid.” I froze. Then without thinking I wheeled my happy baby to the aisle to see who would even consider to say those words about MY perfect child.

Every parent thinks their kid is perfect. If the kid is bad, the parent usually says something like, “he/she is really smart and gets bored easy.” “he/she is just expressing themselves.” Yeah, right. Expressing yourself has nothing to do with knocking over store displays, or being a six-year-old that still bites and refuses to listen when an adult speaks. I’m sure that unless a friend stages  an intervention, I could be that parent that refuses to see that my child is out of control, I just hope it never happens. Until then, I raise my eyebrows when I see a child that’s too old for running, knocking over things, or screaming in public.

You can imagine the surprise when the two girls see me facing them in the shoe aisle. They appear startled, embarrassed, and completely unprepared for what was to happen next. I’m sure they would have gone running if I hadn’t blocked them in with my smiling baby and shopping cart.

“Actually, my ‘kid’ is a seven month old baby, and this is how he communicates when he gets excited, because he doesn’t speak English yet. So before you say to control my f-ing kid, maybe you should control your mouth.”

Silence. Staring. Then I push my cart with my still smiling and babbling child past them.

Yeah, I sound big and bad telling off a couple of rude teenagers, right? Not my finest moment, I will admit. I guess I’m a bit protective. Hopefully I’ll outgrow that when the fat kid on the playground  that reeks of oatmeal knocks him over.

 

Confessions of an Ex- Athlete March 9, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — SideShowShannon @ 2:35 PM
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Since I started playing organized sports, I hated running. When I played softball, we ran when we got in trouble. When I played basketball, we ran for conditioning, and when we got in trouble. In track, we ran because that’s the basis of track and field.

 

Despite hating to run, I joined track so that I could miss school every week with my friends when we had meets out of town. It was a good trade. I missed school, won medals, and had a six-pack. All I had to do was run.

 

Once my days of athletics were over my sophomore year in college when I stopped playing softball (we were still running when we got in trouble) I was finally free. Finally free of running, of consequences, and I was also freed of my six pack.

 

For years I knew what I had done to make my body so perfect, but I refused to do it. “I hate running. Running is stupid. I’m not a runner.” I want to slap myself across the face for having that mentality for so long.

 

I might as well said, “I’m lazy.  Work is hard.  I don’t care about my health or my body.”

 

 After getting a bit of courage and running steadily since the end of December I finally took my training to my first 5k. The Reach out and Run 5k was set in beautiful Chaffee Crossing,  and hosted by the Junior League of Fort Smith. It’s their second annual race, with the proceeds benefitting the Aging Out of Foster Care. The Vibe was also there playing music.  It was a great turnout, with a variety of ages. We could have even brought our dog out. 

 

The whole time I had this plan in my head to keep my husband in sight in front of me so that I kept a strong pace, and if I had the energy at the end, I would attempt to sprint past him. He doesn’t run regularly, but runs pretty fast. I know it will be a tough workout.

 

Every tough workout needs a tough playlist. Not just any playlist, but one where every song should be played at the climax of an action movie. I had to dig deep into my tortured soul for this one.  I pulled together a playlist that featured the likes of the Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Limp Bizkit (oh yes, I did) and the fighting songs from Kill Bill. I WAS READY.

 

Before the race I had butterflies. I was so nervous. I hate that despite the fact that I can run the distance I was already preparing myself for a bad run. I’m still working on thinking positively. It’s okay to be confident and proud sometimes.

 

 Once the gun went off, I was in the zone. My plan to stay behind my husband dissolved when he broke out into what I call a showoff sprint, but I kept a great pace, running a 9-minute mile, and finishing in 32.45, a personal best!

 

It went by faster than I thought it would. It took me a while to recover, because I ran so much harder than I would have on a treadmill, plus there were people around to keep a pace with. What I liked the most about running a race outside was that I actually ran at a good pace. It’s not as easy to do on the treadmill because I still have the fear of falling if I run too fast.  I would be lying if I said I ran the whole thing, I actually walked a total time of a minute and a half.  To think, if I hadn’t stopped I may have had an even faster time.

 

I will most definitely compete again. It’s liberating to do something that I spent years saying that I wouldn’t or couldn’t do.  I’ll take that as a personal victory, Shannon, 1, Shannon’s perceived limitations, 0. Since I’m becoming such a diligent runner, maybe my 6-pack might come crawling back. I would accept it with open arms.

 

 

If you would like to participate in a 5k but need help getting started, check out the Couch to 5k workout. It’s available as an app, and online at www.coolrunning.com.  If you are looking for a 5k to run,  visit www.arkansasrunner.com for a list of dates and locations  hosting runs across the state. 

 

But… It’s Ke$ha March 8, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — SideShowShannon @ 12:35 PM
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My guilty pleasure is Teen Mom 2.  I know its ridiculous, but I just get a kick out of watching young girls make fools of themselves on television without knowing.  Kinda reminds me of myself, except I didn’t accidentally get pregnant by some guy I was dating. I also don’t have any known videos floating around of me being stupid. I hope. 

 

I live to watch Jenelle (Juh- Neyll in Barbish) Evans. She is the biggest train wreck on the planet and doesn’t even know. Her little tantrum about not being able to smoke pot really pissed me off,  but that’s what a dumb teenager does. She really topped herself when she  told her attorney with a straight face that she couldn’t take jail time over probation because of the Ke$ha concert. I watched it like 50 times, and laughed just as hard as I did the first time. Her attorney is looking at her like, “did this kid just say this shit on television? Is she serious?” I can’t believe he didn’t ask her, or at least shake her really hard for a couple minutes. But she presses charges on anyone that breathes on her funny so I guess he didn’t want to get into that mess.

 

I would continue to ridicule that moment in MTV history  except that Wakarusa is coming up and Dispatch is playing.

 

Let me set the scene: It’s 2004 or something, ,and I am up late with a friend listening to Dispatch and really feeling it. Just talking about how awesome they are, and how they really speak to me, you know?  This friend and I made a solemn vow at around 4am that if Dispatch ever got back together, wherever we were in life we would go see them. 

They got back together to do that Madison Square Gardens show.. I missed it. 

 

This is a couple of years before the tragic death of Michael Jackson and Prince’s retirement, and I now know the feeling of regret. I have to do this. I really need to go, for my own good. 

 

So how does a mother of an 8-month old baby and wife tell her family that she needs to skip out for four days to watch Dispatch with a friend?  I have been rolling this over and over in my head and haven’t come up with a good argument, except to say..

 

“BUT IT’S DISPATCH”

It’s not about the festival, it’s about the BAND….

 

Seriously though. I’m 30. I’ve lived an exciting life that I’m glad to have survived.  I honestly feel that if I don’t see them play, I never will have that chance again. I have to go. I don’t know how many times I need to say this. 

 

So to my loving husband, my understanding husband, who has watched me morph from irresponsible 20-something  to doting wife and mother… Please let me go to this show. I know music isn’t your thing, but it definitely is mine, and I would love to just experience a night to see these guys play together before something happens that might cause them to break up again.

 

Maybe I should do one of those Facebook pictures that say, “ If I get 10,000 likes, my husband will let me go to Wakarusa. I know better than to do that. I clog my friends Facebook feeds with enough crap as it is. 

 

Finally, a Meme of Truth!


Finally, a Meme of Truth!

The author of this has never given birth.

But, really, making a drastic change that causes you to lose 20lbs (the current weight of my 8 month old son) isn’t something that just happens.

People see those before and after pictures, but you never see the in-between pictures of the person sweating their balls off, bent over vomiting from a hard run, or waking up in the middle of the night with shoulder pain from push-ups, pull-ups, and burpees.

All you see in the commercial is, “Oh, hey! I took these pills then my muffin top went away! I was really homely and depressing, but after I took these pills I got hot and blonde!”

Um. no. Let’s be real here. Those first couple of weeks of working out aren’t amazing and life changing. If you never work out, you your body will be really sore. There isn’t a montage playing your favorite song that shows you doing stuff, then by the end of your song you suddenly have your high school calves back. If 4:30 were enough time to get hot again, there would be a lot more hot people.

It’s not easy, and it doesn’t get easy. It get’s better, that’s for sure. The mornings that I have to miss with my partner throw my day off completely. I may leave the gym sweaty and slightly sore, but my strength and recovery time improve.
I did lose over 20lbs without exercising after I gave birth, but it wasn’t until I started exercising that I began to see a real visible change in my body and health.

So, take your pills, drink your shakes. Get your Nutrisystem (I actually want to try this because I don’t want to cook) and Weight Watchers. Do whatever it is that you want to do to reach your goal. Just don’t forget to exercise.

It wouldn’t hurt if you had a weight loss montage song too.

Here’s mine:

 

February 22, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — SideShowShannon @ 1:07 PM

Her Happy Balance

Thanks everyone for your helpful feedback yesterday on a 5k running plan! A lot of you had suggested the couch to 5k plan. I actually completed that about a year ago to just get into running (and it was a great plan, btw!), so I think I’m going to shoot for something a bit more rigorous. I’ll keep you posted on what I decide to actually do. But it’s great to know that there is such a huge support system of runners out there 🙂

And after all of this running talk, I felt inspired to design a HIIT workout! For those of you that are unfamiliar with it, HIIT stands for High-Intensity Interval Training. It’s a method of training that involves alternating between short bursts of really intense anaerobic activity (like running or cycling) and periods of recovery. If you’re looking to learn about all the benefits/pros of HIIT…

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Filed under: Uncategorized — SideShowShannon @ 1:06 PM

 

Strength in Numbers January 31, 2013

Filed under: Diabeetus and Metabloism,Uncategorized — SideShowShannon @ 12:35 PM
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Remember when you were a little kid and they would spend a day discussing sticky situations that children can get into when there are no adults around? I remember most of them, but the one that traveled through life with me was “Strength in Numbers”.. I was rarely allowed out after dark in our neighborhood unless one of my brothers were with me, and for years, some adult was telling us kids to ‘stick together’..

I genuinely love wandering around alone, mostly because there isn’t anyone around to talk me out of doing something. In fact, half the time when I choose to do something I only ask whoever I know can’t or won’t stop me from my diabolical plans to join.

When it comes to working out, I usually preferred to do it alone because I have music to listen to, and thoughts to think. I also get very annoyed when people interrupt what I’m doing while I’m on a roll.

Despite my rigid rule of working out alone, I have worked out with a friend for the last two or three weeks. Every day, we are there, she would run on her treadmill while I ran the track, afterward I would lift weights, (she doesn’t lift) but Tuesday and Thursday we work our abs mercilessly.

She was fully aware of my treadmill fear, and my public declaration to never use one for the rest of my life, but she talked me into it yesterday. I actually RAN on a treadmill for a couple of miles without falling. I survived, so I decided to do it again today.

Thanks to my amazing friend, I was able to release my fear and embarrassment of The Incident of 2008, and for that I am thankful. Also a little proud of myself.

It feels good to do something that I said I was too afraid to do. Because of that, I know I was getting a more efficient workout.

This morning both of us went in feeling awful. I had a headache, and spent twenty minutes crying after Blake fell off of the couch. I was sitting with him while he had his bottle, and while I went to the kitchen for literally four seconds, he was facedown on the floor when I came back. He was more startled than hurt, and while he may have survived The Great Couch Fall of 2013, I felt guilty. I got on the treadmill red-eyed and with a headache, and really didn’t want to be there.

 

I ran the hardest that I have run in a while. By the time our ab workouts were over, my headache was gone, and I no longer felt like Jenelle Evans from Teen Mom.

No wonder people have workout partners. Without having her there to push me into a longer plank, lower lunges, and faster scissor kicks I probably would have just rode out my bad mood and half -assed  the entire morning.

Not only am I sore, I am happy. If you want to up the intensity in your workout, find a good buddy to endure the pain together. The accountability and encouragement might be just what you need to accomplish your goals.

 

 
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